As a career coach, I’m lucky to work with a wide spectrum of age groups. Although every single client has an interesting story and value to offer, I find working with people ages 50+ particularly fascinating. Part of my interest is in their different attitudes on aging as it relates to career – no, life — transition.
Are you old or older?
Last year, I had three clients with whom I coached on career transition. All had been downsized out of their jobs. All were exploring next steps.
At the time of our work together, Maria was 59. She said she wanted to continue working in her field as a systems analyst. We prepared career marketing documents, and coached around her job search. Just three weeks into her search, Maria told me she had decided to retire. She said, “I fear I’m growing old and beginning to look and feel it. I don’t want to be 59. I want to look young and be young. I’m not. I would give anything to turn back the clock.” Maria doesn’t accept her age. She’s consumed with regrets, and it’s getting in the way of her enjoying her current life. More importantly, it’s getting in the way of planning her future.
Beverly, age 63, is a downsized educator. We updated her resume and coached around interviewing. She’s planning a trip to South Korea, where she will be teaching English. She told me, “The experience of working in a different culture in another country keeps me energized and excited. Every day is a new surprise. It’s very different from my old work environment.”
Yet another client, Henry, 76 and downsized from his second career in sales, shared, “I keep my eye out, but I’m not sure if there’s a job fit for me right now. If that’s retirement, I’m fine with it. I always have things to do. I stay active. I ride my bike and hit the gym five days a week. I’ve got a zillion projects in my workshop. And next week I start classes at the community college.”
Beverly and Henry accept their age and view themselves as vibrant adults. They are constructive, full of life and optimistic about the future. Maria is stuck.
Accept or reject?
Of course we all know that we have no choice but to age as long as we’re on this side of the grass. And I won’t deny that having a positive attitude toward aging and the shape your life’s work will take often requires a sense of humor and the ability to not be influenced by the barrage of mass media messages trying to convince you that beauty and youth go hand-in-hand. Last week, I saw an ad that said “Who doesn’t want to look half their age? Face it; a fresh younger appearance is a hot commodity.”
But really. What’s the point of looking 30 when you’re 60? How sad it is to keep struggling for an image that is no longer you, rather than appreciating and accepting who you are now. In an era when these media messages zap us from all directions, we need to remind ourselves that no matter what our age, we all possess a unique loveliness.
Find your inspiration
How does one grab and keep that positive attitude toward aging? I don’t have a crystal ball, but I believe that having champions who motivate helps with any goal. With aging, my own personal inspiration was Helen, whom I knew through an international association of women dedicated to education. Helen passed a few years ago at the age of 95. During the five years prior to that, she accomplished a life-long goal of her own – to visit every single one of the seven continents. She did it. In her 90s. Not on a group tour but singly traveling with her sister. After each trip, she gave a program for our group, complete with her take-aways on culture and the people.
I’ve some ideas on other ways to boost attitude on aging.
- Read books about people who have achieved success later in life.
- Seek out volunteer opportunities in the community, including libraries, schools, churches, the arts, or cultural organizations.
- Find role models in your town who are living full, rich, productive lives in their senior years. Talk to them. Listen to their stories. Take and use what inspires you.
- Take a class in something you always wanted to learn.
- Stay active. I recently started a yoga class where the age runs from 50s to nearly 80. Delightfully motivating and invigorating.
Whether we are determined to stay in the workforce after _ (you pick the number) or retire at _ (ditto), isn’t aging really a process of becoming and continuing to meet life’s challenges and enjoy life’s glories? Beverly and Henry certainly are!
