Many job seekers are afraid of making themselves vulnerable. When you are applying for positions, you make yourself vulnerable. You are vulnerable to rejection. Many job seekers are afraid of being rejected. They limit their contacts and confidants to a select few known well. Their search is also confined to applying to advertised openings where—rejected or not, they don’t feel as vulnerable because they’re clicking a button, blasting a resume and waiting with low expectations. What a waste of energy and time. I thought about three questions that are worth asking.
Can you rethink vulnerability?
The definition of vulnerability, being exposed; left open or capable of being hurt, is often considered a negative in our society where we like to fix or avoid vulnerability. It’s frequently seen as a sign of weakness. I recently listened to an interview with Dr. Brené Brown on National Public Radio. Dr. Brown is reviving the knowledge that our struggles make us who we are, and it is based on social scientific research she conducted first into shame and then into qualities that distinguish lives with a strong sense of worthiness. She says that our culture is almost allergic to the term vulnerability, “although it’s really at the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experience.”
Can vulnerability equal strength?
Think about times in your life when you let yourself be vulnerable. What did you learn from that time? Did you grow from the experience? Did you become stronger? By showing all sides of yourself, did you create a greater connection to those around you? Dr. Brown equates vulnerability with courage.
My client, Mary, told me she felt very vulnerable when she approached her employer for a promotion. My friend, Jill, said she felt vulnerable when she sent her son off to hockey tryouts with positive encouragement, knowing in her gut that he would not make the team. My client, Bob, has surrounded himself with vulnerability as he steps in to help people devastated by Hurricane Sandy.
I agree with Dr. Brown’s premise that vulnerability is about the willingness to show up and be seen in our lives. And when we show up, those are the most powerful meaning-making moments of our lives. They’re not often comfortable. Contrarily, they often are not. They don’t always yield the immediate results we think we want. But they define our strengths to move beyond fear, to push past real or perceived roadblocks. In fact, it’s about practicing to be uncomfortable. It was not comfortable for Oprah when early in her career she was told she would never be on television. That was rejection at its purest.
In her research, Dr. Brown asked people to ponder this: “Think of the last time you did something that you thought was really brave or the last time you saw someone do something really brave.” In her 11,000 pieces of data around the answers, she could not find one single example of courage—moral, leadership, career, relationship—that was not completely born of vulnerability.
Can you embrace your own vulnerability?
What is the worst that will happen if you accept and even welcome your own vulnerability?
What if you put yourself out there? You make those phone calls and actually interact with that LinkedIn group? Reach out to others for help? Approach folks for informational interviews? Send your resume to those not hiring, because you feel you’d fit? Dig deep and honestly. Is it easy to buy into this myth of vulnerability being synonymous with weakness, frailty and gullibility? And is it an excuse not to do the things that although scary, may lead to greater confidence, strength of character and presented opportunities?
Yes, you will most likely be rejected in the course of your job search. No doubt about that. But is vulnerability a bad word or state to be in? I would argue, no. It shows you are willing to try a different way to get a different result; go at things from a different angle. What better time than your job search?
By making yourself vulnerable, you will open yourself up to a world of opportunities that never was before accessible. You may find the perfect environment and people you are comfortable with. You may find a higher paying position. You may find your dream role. Vulnerability can in reality, be an advantage in your life and job search. By the way, Mary got that promotion.
Photo credit: sunshinecity
