Resolution Revelation: One Word Can Make the Difference

Why do New Year’s Resolutions so often fail? Is the secret in a word?

This time every year people resolve to get healthier. The gyms are busting at the seams with well-intentioned folks. Ads for related weight loss, smoking cessation and fitness programs dominate the air waves.

I listened to the topic of New Year’s resolutions via media recently. Topping the list:

• Spend more time with family and friends
• Get fit and healthy (exercise, lose weight, quit smoking, quit drinking)
• Enjoy life more
• Get out of debt
• Learn something new
• Help others
• Get organized

Resolutions high on the list for job seekers:

• Build an online presence
• Update my resume and cover letter
• Expand my network
• Get organized
• Stay positive
• Be realistic
• Be confident
• Build my skills and knowledge

By March, the regulars have their old gym back. Actually, research shows that by year-end, less than 5% of us will have stuck with it, our resolutions intact. Too bad, because resolutions can be an opportunity to evaluate where we are, compared to where we’d like to be. That’s a good thing. So, how can we ramp up the successful outcome factor?

I recently blogged about the power of using adjectives in goal setting.  Again, I submit that words—in this case, just one—could turn things around.

The reason most resolutions don’t work is that they address only the DO level of your life. It’s a DO-HAVE-BE way of thinking. “If I lose weight, I’ll be more attractive, and I will feel more confident.” “If I land this Director of Communications position with ABC Company, I’ll have more money, and I’ll be secure.” The To-Do list approaches in the above resolutions don’t inspire; they dictate.

My client, Kathy and I experimented. Her 2010 resolution for life and job search was to “get organized.” She was tired of living in clutter and chaos. She picked the BE word associated with that resolution. Instead of a “to-do” resolution, she reflected on what would inspire her. Her word, she said, was “release”. THAT became her mantra. She gave herself permission to let go of things that obstructed or distracted, starting with her office.

Interestingly, she continued to use “release” as her resolution word throughout the year, because it inspired her. It worked when she applied “release” to thinking about the extra pounds she carried. And when she decided to distance herself from a constantly-negative friend. And when she analyzed her budget and “released” expenses she didn’t need. That one word became her guiding force, not her strict standard. She shifted her intent towards it. If she had simply tried to get organized, odds are high that nothing would have happened.

This time last year, I blogged about self-discovery.  It seems to me that choosing the inspiring path brings joy in discovery and the path. Enjoying life as it’s lived—not just the perceived end. When I’m 100 (yes, I plan to get there), I know I won’t care if my housekeeping or even relationships were perfect. But I will regret it if I haven’t lived life true to my values, ideas and dreams—the BE part.

What’s the BE word that you can hold close as a guidepost throughout 2011?